The true story of what happened to HD

The true story of what happened to HD. or,never put all your eggs into one basket.

I have to clear up the lies that have been circulating about the person known as HD. Number one, his parents were Jewish. The family name was Pincus, His mother was born in Minsk and his father was born in Gabrovnek. They came to this country as poor immigrants. His father was a tailor who drank too much and could not sew a straight line. His mother was a struggling house wife who never had enough to properly feed her family. HD was hatched into this unhappy family and was an unwanted and neglected child from the beginning of his young life.

One day the Pincus file was brought to the attention of the king. You see, aside from all his other kingly duties the king was in charge of the child welfare bureau. He saw at once that HD was living under the most dire conditions. The king ordered that HD be put in foster care and selected the household of one Mrs. Dumpty.

Mrs Dumpty was not a good choice for poor Humpty. She let him run wild outdoors, climb trees and a lot of other dangerous things that kids love to do.

One day Humpty decided to climb to the top of a very high wall. He sat there looking at the rest of the world that had been denied to him and thought about a life that he would never know. As he sat there deep in his thoughts he suddenly found that he was falling from atop the wall. He hit the ground with a terrible bang and broke into many pieces.

Meanwhile back at the palace word of what had happened to HD reached the king, where he was enjoying his breakfast. Eggs Benedict. The king, who cared little for the routine work of the child welfare bureau, decided to send all his horses to investigate what had happened to HD.

Here we must stop and ask ourselves why the king would send horses to investigate such an accident. Surely horses did not qualify for the job of putting HD back together again.

Well, needless to say, the horses, with their big feet, made a terrible mess of HD.

As a second thought the king ordered all of his men to the scene, but the horses had made such a mess of poor HD that all the king’s men decided to go back to the palace.

A group of small children were playing nearby, and when all the king’s men left, they walked over to see if they could help poor HD.

With their small hands they set to work putting HD back together again. Aided with some string, scotch tape and glue the children were able to get poor HD back on his feet but it was obvious that he would need weeks of PT before he would be fully recovered.

Weeks passed, HD was a model patient and slowly he began to recover. Eventually he was discharged from the hospital and went out into the big city looking for a job and longing to find his birth parents.

HD visited many places of business asking to be employed. One rainy cold day he wandered into a store that sold eggs. The owner, a cruel and very devious old man, looked at HD and quickly decided he could sell HD if he could trick him into thinking he was giving him a job in his shop. Poor HD cold, alone in the world and exhausted, accepted the offer. Faster than you could say lemon meringue the old man grabbed HD and put him in a carton with eleven eggs and snapped the cover tightly.

That afternoon the King’s chef came to the old man’s store to buy eggs for the king’s eggs Benedict. The old man sold him a dozen eggs. The chef put the carton into his Zabar’s shopping bag and headed back to the palace.

The next morning the king rose from the royal bed as the sun rose in the eastern sky and ordered the royal chef to prepare his favorite breakfast, Eggs Benedict.

Some years later there was an investigation into the child welfare system. The king was convicted of neglect and had his head cut off, Mrs dumpty was sent to jail for exploiting the system. Mr and Mrs Pincus were found dead of a drug overdose and buried in unmarked graves on a chicken farm in New Jersey.

Now you know the truth about the cover up. But the world wants to know how this lie began, and why this lie has perpetuated all these years.